I have been watching random documentaries on netflix, ones where they went on an adventure in the nature... and I can't help but be jealous of these people. They go off to these countries and climb crazy mountains, or walk on these trails for hundreds of miles, they always learn so much about themselves and about the world.

if I don't get married, I want to make it a goal to go on one of these treks.

They just seem so hard and so great all at the same time!

I need a job.

any ideas???

pet peaves

i didn't think i had any really, until now.
-leaving the toilet paper roll empty in the bathroom.
-people pounding on their keyboards when typing
-everything when i am hunger

i am hungry right now... gosh am i annoyed with the world right now!!

ya know, i have been thinking. i want to be one of those people that when you think of them... you think, oh man!! that person is the bomb!!!
i want to be one who spends more time outside then inside.

i would start that right now, but there is snow outside. i will start when i don't need mittens and coats to enjoy it.

boony butt :)

boone will always be my favorite dog in the entire world.... 

can't wait to see him in heaven, 

cause i can't stand thinking that i wont really see him ever again.

the big V day

so last night my brother asks how excited I am for today (in case you live in a rock, it's valentines day)
I reply with a rather bitter and sarcastic tone... really??? you honestly just asked me if I was excited for tomorrow??? why on earth would I be excited? to go to school and have everyone around me rub it in my face that I have no valentine? then ya... I'm way excited.

of course we all just laughed, mainly because we know it is true... and the conversation moves to something else.
. . . . . . . .

this morning comes along, as much as I didn't want it to happen... but to my HUGE surprise, I get woken up by that same brother who asked me jokingly about today.
with a boquay of flowers for me!!!!
how bloody cute is that??????

along with those amazing flowers was a card, it is by far the best card i have ever received.... so incredibly sweet, I almost cried. :)

do I have the best brother anyone could ask for? YES.

thank you grant for making this valentines the best yet :)

here are some lovely pictures of me and the flowers today, and me trying to pose oso for the picture... basically impossible!

thoughts during ethics and values

i would rather die then pretend to listen any longer to my teacher.... at least it seems like i am taking notes.

CRAZZZZZZZYYYYY!!!!!

honest to goodness, this movie will change how you view life.... my psych teacher made me watch this movie and i am so happy he did, cause it is sooo cool!!!!

you have to watch this. have. to. seriously.

ghost genes

seriously. it's long but it is totally worth it!!!

hacked.

blog hack.
elissa butler is the best in the world.
she's my absolute favorite.
i love her.
i also love lisa jensen.
i also love my dogs.
i also love my really great life.
it wouldn't be as great without elissa.

today is the last day of 2011.
and i wouldn't want to spend it with anyone other than my loves.

dear 2012.
let's do this.

turning over a new leaf

all my life i have not loved the way i look.

some may blame it on the television,

or the movies, magazines, or all the other girls,

but i blame it one person and person only.

satan.

heavenly Father wouldn't ever want me to think the way i think about myself.

and if i saw another girl thinking what i was thinking about them selves i would get all upset and wish and pray that they could see the beauty that Heavenly Father gave them...

so why couldn't i see myself like i see everyone else?

i am turning over a new leaf.

i deserve to be happy.

i deserve to think i am pretty, even beautiful.

this picture is one of the first ones that i can see what i think could be beauty :)

even in my natural, un-make-up-ed state!!

we all deserve to feel beautiful...

some nice eye candy

now guess which one i chose to paint for my final painting in art!!!! aren't these pictures just so pretty???
ya. i thought so too.

life. what more can i say??

being obsessed with boys is hard sometimes, you are left thinking about them..... all the time.
wondering what they are doing
if they think about you sometimes too
if they even like you to begin with
going over the last time they talked to you, and trying to see if they are showing signs of. . . anything
thinking of what life would be if they said they liked you
thinking of what the first kiss would be like....

you get the idea, it takes over your thoughts!!!!
but,
even if you never find out what he thinks about or if he ever liked you... that one time he talks to you is enough.
enough to make you remember that you are someone who is worth something, and makes you see the beauty that you had forgotten about yourself... just with a simple "is your brother still living at home?"
and that all it takes to remind you that you can be loved.

Random British Want a be Rantings.

this girl is freakishly happy right now, there are many things in my life that i could be stressed and upset and mad about... but i don't really like feeling any of those emotions that much, so instead i am listening to my top rated play list on my i pod, and can't help but smile :)

some things i am smiling about:
-my paper i am writing on how we need to get the aspens trees to stop stressing... no joke.
-how i can do two loops in my hair now instead one, and it looks like a bow on top of my head
-actually loving a piece of art i did in my class!!!!! yay green pears and red accents
-the first snowish fall of this great year
-chocolate making
-dressing up as baby momma and having nooo one get it, and still being happy after...

i honestly am happy about everything right now!!! even things that should not make me happy, like math...

i think it's because i am starting to see the blessings Heavenly Father is POURING on me all at once!!!! it's so great to know that when i do the right things, he shows me that i am...
new computer for basically free, a possible perfect job, a perfect school schedule, and basically a perfect life!!! makes me wonder why i would ever not do the things that i am supposed too!

oh the joys of being a girl....

no this is not going to be about my lady parts, no sir!!! this is about the joys of feeling about one hundred different emotions in one day...
started with tired (of course) then ended with very happy.
                   in between was alot of other emotions but no need to list them all.
i did some homework that was much needed, not all of it but i am still happy,
supported my awesome brother in his softball game,
went running with a not too awkward return missionary, as well as my bff,
then came home to a much needed letter :) :) with some great testimonies and pictures... i'd show them but that'd be creepy.
and then basically ended my night with joining this blog.... isn't she just amazing???!!!! i thought so too :)
just wanted to tell you how my day went, i could go into greater detail like i normally do, but ya know what? i am over telling everyone about my entire life... or at least for tonight i am :)
over and out.

updates on my oddly full life.

for some reason ever since school started my schedule has filled up rather alot. it may becuase i spend a rediculous amount of time at school, and that even my pe classes make me buy books and do homework... or that i am also trying to train for a marathon...
which i want to touch just a bit on and give everyone some warnings...
wed night i was late at work so i told amanda (my running partner) to just go without me.
i took boone and started on the canal after nine.... lets just say someone pulled over their car, got out, and decided to follow me. . . and that boone is not a dog that understands that when i pick up my speed, i also want him to pick up his speed instead of trying to wait for this man who wanted to get me...
so advice i want to give to you about running at night... they may seem obvious, but of course i didn't think of them until it was too late.  
-when running at night, always ALWAYS take your phone.
-also when running at night, stay on roads where alot of people drive on... so then if someone tries to get you, they can't cause there are too many other cars/people on the road.
-and the obvious... just don't run alone!! and if you take a dog with you... try to take one that will actually defend and help you, not hinder you in your escape efforts.
don't worry, nothing bad happened other then boone got choked and i got scared.
everything else in my life is going great, still trying to get all organized fo;r school and my new calling...
but i have to go to class i jsut thought i would let you know whats been going on :)

check.

so i have just now realized that i have not updated my blog in a really long time!!! and it isn't really for anyone other then myself because i know no one else really truly wants to read my nonsense posts...
but updates for me for future reading to look back on this and hopefully see how much i have grown :)

lake powell.
one of the best vacations i have taken in a long long time.
i got to sit in the hot sun, and then jump into the water when it was just a little too hot.
also i got to spend all day in my swim suit, while eating AMAZING frozen caprisons.
facing my fear of failure (only because of the amazing lisa jensen, to whom all owe all the credit) and learning how to skurf? surf? (the exact word is not for sure)
getting to know some great human beings and realizing yet again that the world does stand a chance.
and last but not least getting to do all of this with my best friend lisa, thanks lub.

ya so i decided i don't really want to update about anything else, it gets too boring... even for me to see all the writing :)
over and out.

do i love my life? yes.

love it. 
i got onto fb just out of boredom, there is this boy who i recently started stalking there, and i noticed that a semi friend of mine posted on his wall...
she was on live chat, so of course i started asking her questions about this boy, so i could further my understanding of him, so i could eventually be in love with him (of course that is how my brain works:)
we get to talking, found out that she is actually pretty in love with this kid... i dear say even more then i am.
instead of just dropping the conversation, i stayed talking to her....
two hours later i convinced her to call him,
she actually did.
she had the nervous shakes, i also had the nervous shakes.
he didn't answer (lame boy).
she shot him a text, rather simple, extremely cute.

this was a very odd thing for me to do, i normally would have ended the conversation, and would have been bitter about the girl from then on.... but instead i ended up helping her (hopefully) patch things up with this boy.

helping people even in the oddest of ways like this situation will always be amazing!!
all i have to say is, i am happy i gave up my slight chance of me and him, for her big chance of her and him :)

my new wish.

i have actually wanted this for a while, but i am finally ready to voice it :)
i wish i were a granola. . . . .  if you do not know what a granola is, i will explain it to you :)
it's a type of person, they love to hike, do anything physical, where hardly any make up, where shoes that show their toes and have lots of sturdy straps (tevas or keens) they almost always have a sturdy back pack with them that has a nice hose of water sticking out of it... and of course their main source of food is granola :)

i think it would be so fun to be a granola!!! hahaha or at least partially like a granola, and that is my new goal in life... i've always wanted it, so why the freak not get it??? ha
how you may ask, can sara gagon go from lazy bum to granola?.... not too sure honestly.
but.
i have purchased a road bike, so i will soon try and make that my means of transport :) also i am trying to eat tons of fruits and veggies, which i feel like granolas do that also lol. i am also running again, but i think i will actually be able to keep this time an actually constant thing :)
i will also pull out my keens (shoes with straps) from time to time, but i must admit that i love my other shoes too much to not wear them.       and i may not put as much makeup on anymore, well i've actually already started that, and i must admit is it amazing!!

hahaha so if you see a girl pull up to your house on a road bike, with a nice sturdy back pack, wearing odd shoes and no make up... don't fret, it's just the new me :)

summer? you could say so.

some people may say it is summer, and i may even say so myself.

but i keep on wanting it to be last summer..... the pool just isn't the same without 

the boy who once had curly hair.

who is now officially in Mexico, super weird to think about,

but i pray that one of my best friends is doing okay in a country 

he will soon start to love more then his own.

here's a nice quote so this post isn't too pointless for you to read :)

"the only way to be happy is to live the gospel.

it is not possible to sin enough to be happy.

it isn't possible to buy enough to be happy,

or entertain or indulge or pamper ourselves

 enough to be happy.

happiness and joy come only when we

 are living up to who we are."

-sheri dew

i need this tattooed on my body so i can always remember it.

in my life i have always been trying to find out what makes me do the things i do, or not do the things i really want to do and i think i may have found the reason why i don't do alot of things in my life that i want or wish to do...

                                  fear.

i am afraid to tell the boy who barely knows me that i think he is cool and that i like him.

i am afraid to get a big time job

i am afraid to choose a major

i am afraid to move on in my life and grow up.

i am afraid that people wont see who i really am, instead of how big i am.

i am afraid that if i show someone my heart they will use and abuse it.

i am afraid that i wont find someone who i can say i want to be with you for forever.

i am afraid that i let people down, so instead i give them nothing to have let down.

i wish more then anything that i could get over some of these fears and insecurities that i have, but at the same time i don't.    i have lived nineteen years like this and have been rather happy.... the worst part about the rather happy, is i can clearly see how great my life really could be.

i just can't let go of those fears anyway.

one of the worst things about these fears is i set myself up for what i think will happen. 

i think people only see how big i am and not how fun i am... so i sit in the corner and i make little comments that no one can hear but me. or i act bitter and uninvolved because i don't want people to hurt me and leave me in the cold, so i put myself in the cold myself... when maybe they wouldn't have.

not sure if any of this makes sense, i just want everyone that reads this to know these things, or really let you know that i can finally see what you have probably known for a while :)

 i like to baby my fears because they are alot easier to hide behind then to have nothing there to blame or cover me.

 fear is scary and i honestly can say i know absolutely nothing about conquering it.

but i want to get to a point, some day, to be able to not want to stand behind my fears and be able to show myself how i truly want to be seen and not just who i want to hide myself as.